Internet Dating in Midlife: 17 Tips from the Fairy Godfather

Like a growing number of midlifers, I have been internet dating for many years and am still surprised by some of the behaviours of people online. So it was refreshing to discover the @the_fairy_godfather Instagram account. The author of  “If f***boys were honest” gives some great insights into the mind of men online and advice on how to find a good man amongst the thousands of fakes out there.

Aaron (aka the fairy godfather) shared his top tips with us …

I’ve been internet dating for many years and it’s the reason I started my Instagram account, I’m still actively dating so my finger is on the pulse.

I’ve compiled some tips that should help you in the shit storm that’s Internet dating:

Top Tips

  • Don’t swap numbers straight away. Wait until there have been a few days of continual communication and be sure to ask relevant questions to make sure your intentions/core values are aligned.
  • Don’t get swept up in a text-athon. Remember you are a high-value woman who’s busy.
  • Don’t disclose your intent on your dating profile if you don’t have to. No fucker pays attention and they’re more likely to mirror your intent. Make them answer that question first.
  • Don’t argue with idiots! As soon as they say something wrong don’t say a word, just report them and then block.
  • Grow a thick skin, you’ll be rejected a lot.
  • Stay woke. You’ll have men try and con you.
  • Don’t have any expectations.
  • Understand its ok to send the first message, in fact apps such as bumble use it was their premise, but don’t just send a “hey.” Remember to ask a question, so they have something to reply to. One word messages rarely get a reply, as it isn’t enough to pique my interest. Note: Don’t send another message until he’s replied. If the lines of communication has petered out and you haven’t heard anything for 48 hours then either un-match or block.
  • Don’t drag it out!! After 10 days of no date being mentioned just fuck him off (sever all ties)
  • Use at least 5 photos on your profile that include:
  • Be sure to disclose that your photos are recent, e.g. “All photos were taken within the last month, and they should be no older than 12 months
    • A full-length shot
    • One of you smiling
    • One of you being active or outside having fun
    • Don’t be inside your house in all of the photos
    • Don’t flash loads of flesh/skin. Avoid bikini shots. It doesn’t work on a long term attraction basis
    • Avoid lots of group shots or a cropped out ex
    • Don’t use snapchat filters; try and be as filterless as possible
    • NO duck faces! It might look cute on your 5-year-old niece but men find it a turn off.
  • List your interests, likes and dislikes.
  • Write a small paragraph about yourself. Don’t say shit like, “I’m smart.” Instead, convey this through a paragraph. Show us, don’t tell us.
  • Have a male friend help you write your bio.
  • Don’t write your name and age on the profile; we can already see it! Plus, people do this and forget to update it when it’s their birthday.
  • If you want a man of a certain height to be sure to put that in your bio and be sure to add your height, too. Women always add, “without heels.” I mean it’s a good job they do that because my first question would’ve been, “Are you wearing high heels or stilettos when you measured yourself?”
  • Don’t send nude pics and if you ever do with any many at any point in time make sure your face isn’t in the picture.
  • Be on more than one site. Many women are on two. If you’re not in a populated area use an app where geolocation isn’t paramount, or where it can be changed.

Dating can be all-consuming and confusing – not to mention hard work. And I found the fairy godfathers guide a refreshing insight into how I should change my behaviour and approach dating with a new approach.

And as he says – Don’t forget to enjoy yourself !! I aim too!!


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