I grew up a vicar’s daughter in the north of England in the 60’s and 70’s, our family of 6 didn’t do emotions.
We were looked after and physically provided for but not emotionally. Both my parents were emotionally vacant, but then again that was normal back then!
I learnt from an early age to stuff my emotions with an occasional outburst, as was the way I had been trained by my parents. Unhelpful, yes but entirely normal for my family and the only way I knew!
I got pregnant at 14, I was a punk and very rebellious, I kept it hidden from my parents until I was 6 months pregnant when they found out, which was an emotional disaster for us all, as I nor my family had the emotional skills to navigate such a situation. The secret was out, I had brought shame on my family and no one knew what to do. I had my baby and we moved.
Aged 18 I became pregnant again by a different father and I soon found myself head first in a violent and abusive relationship. My stuffed emotions went underground, whilst my body lived on eggshells. One night following a horrendously abusive episode I took my children and left.
I started a new life. I decided to go to University to study Law, as I wanted to provide my children with a good life. I relied wholy on myself for everything, I was the sole provider and in order to cope I continued my pattern of stuffing my emotions with the occasional outburst, the goal was to prove to everyone that I was more than capable, I was superwoman!
Time went on, I got married, ran up my career ladder and moved further and further away from connecting to my emotions. This all changed in one week in 2002: I got fired from my dream job, decided that I wanted to divorce my husband and start a brand new life.
My children were teenagers by then and doing their own thing. I now had some time and space for me. I took 6 months off to discover who I was and what I wanted to do. I met my life partner, Toby and for the first time started to become the real me, the Belinda that I was truly meant to be.
I studied to be a Life Coach and Reiki Therapist, worked on myself, opened my heart and the door to my emotions. This was like discovering a magic gateway, the real secret of life. That was 16 years ago and I have never looked back. I have been working on myself and helping others to be happy and fulfilled ever since.
Have I mastered my emotions? Well, let’s just say it is a continuing journey but now I’m a lot better at it and I have lots of tools and techniques that I use and successfully teach to others. I know a lot more about me, others and emotions now and have successfully mastered my emotions to a certain degree although I am still learning. I have come a very long way from where I used to be. I am a work in progress and yes, I can say I am truly happy, healthy and successful.
If you would like help to master your emotions and enjoy harmonious relationships in all areas of your life visit www.TheMidlifeMentor.co.uk