Lucy B, 58 – Menopause: Confidence During The Change

How do we remain or become confident in our 50’s and beyond? Why is it that this age sees women suddenly shrinking away from attention and ambition?  Mostly, this comes with the hormone changes that happen anytime from 40. But it also comes from the limiting beliefs that we inherited from our mothers. The belief that at 50 and beyond we should follow certain guidelines on how to act, how to be, how to feel.  In menopause, we were told, we will feel invisible, unsexy, old and irrelevant. Plus, if we try to look modern, hip or cool we will look like mutton dressed as lamb.

I am here to tell you that I see many more ladies frozen with fear about looking like mutton that they end up looking beige or pedestrian or worse than anything, invisible. So I am here to encourage you to be the best version of you that you have ever been. You must know who you are, where you are going, how to look good and feel good about yourself right here and now and I feel I have the authority, certificates and confidence to help you with this.

We absolutely have to be the last generation of mid-life ladies that attach shame to menopause or mid-life. Remember that being middle-aged and beyond is a privilege that some don’t get to have.

Building Confidence Through Your Wardrobe

When I was 40, after years of everyone making me take them shopping, I trained to become a Certified Colour Image Consultant and Personal Stylist. I learnt about colour, shapes, fabric, scale, style and wardrobe personality.  I was in my element. After a few interviews, I joined a team of Personal Shoppers in Dickens and Jones on Regent Street, London. There I had a suite of private dressing rooms with incredibly high ceilings, beautiful drapes, chaise longue, wonderful mirrors and an empty rail that was filled by me with my thoughts and inspiration for my next client.

I took appointments by phone and hand wrote them in the department diary. During this phone call I would chat to the client, get her height, her eye colour, the event and just have a general conversation for me to gauge the kind of appointment that we would have together. I didn’t see any photographs, of course. This was well before Instagram and the consultations were all about connection and personality.

The occasions were varied from Mother of the Bride, busy executives to Divorce Court appearances. But my bread and butter clients were ladies who felt they had lost their way and had ended up buying the same top in every colour and looked and felt more or less the same every day.  After spending a 2hour consultation with me they left with 4 or 5 different looks that they could weave into their life and feel relevant and confident. That renewed confidences made them feel and look sexy.  Confidence has a very sexy feel to it!

I remained working in Personal Shopping for 10 years, de-cluttering wardrobes and giving my clients new looks. I loved it and I was very good at it. But sadly, somehow, with the twists and turns of life, I got caught up in retail management and ended up managing the stores and not selling anymore. I lost my mojo until I found yoga.

Advice For Feeling Good During Menopause

My advice is to remember the Menopause is inevitable but suffering isn’t. Look at your cravings with curiosity. Look at your nutrition for clues for what is not serving you. Start meditating so you can sit with the difficult and be kind to yourself and stop busying yourself to avoid pain and the truth. Look at your wardrobe and do a wardrobe detox get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself.

The point I really want to make today in this blog is that yes eating healthily and yoga is essential pillars in your life but self-care in which I place Style and Confidence are crucially important too.  Feeling good on the inside and looking great on the outside is a winning combination.  This is not about size or shape or age.  Everybody and everybody can look fabulous.  Just dress for your shape, for your wardrobe personality, for the colour of the skin and hair that you have now. Forget about any rules that you were given. Wear anything that makes you feel like you are representing who you are.  Be bold. Go through your wardrobe and donate clothes that no longer serve you. Embrace the wonderful you that you are changing into.

If you need any help with placing any of your pillars into your life then just message me. This is your time to be who you want to be.  DO not hold yourself hostage to who you once were.

Get in touch, I love to chat.





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