Wow I am so pleased that I can contribute to Rejuvage. I am 72 and have been happily married for 40 years. I have written a book ‘Sexy at 70’ which is out on October 10th. I joined Instagram last year. My goal was to reach 10,000 followers so I could promote my book. Then I got really scared. Did I dare to come out as a sexy, older woman on a platform like Instagram? I thought everyone would laugh at me and say ‘How can someone over seventy, be sexy?’ But I did dare and the response has been amazing and life affirming. I reached 10 K. This has been the biggest way to break stereo types. People say I give them hope.
I actually hate getting old. In my 50s, I bought all the societal messages that I was a dried out old husk, heading for withered crone-dome. Cruise ships were full of ageing wives whose husbands had left them for a younger model. The world seemed grim. I ate too much and my evening quotient of wine, rose steadily to more than 2 glasses. I developed more chins. I became an apple shape as my middle expanded. I started to wear loose floppy tops.
Annoyingly my husband, Jake, got better looking with age. I railed and railed that it was totally unfair. Men got more debonair as they got older. I hated getting wrinkles. I became obsessed with having a facelift. ‘I will leave if you do,’ said Jake. My interest in sex dwindled to almost zero. I gobbled yam pills and a herb, suitably or unsuitably, called ‘horny goat’, but to no avail. I read Germaine Greer and Leslie Kenton who talked me out of HRT. ‘Was that right?’ I wondered on a bad day. ‘Surely estrogen rollicking through my veins might make me look younger and sexier.’ Germaine said she was happy that men didn’t look at her as a sexual object any more, but appreciated her brain. I personally would have happily traded in my PhD for just one wolf whistle.
Coming out on social media has helped me see how important it is to accept my age, and be an example for others. I am a grandmother of 6 so I want to be a role model for them as well.
My Top Tips
- Eat well. I got diabetes 7 years ago because of throwing sugary cakes down my neck. Diabetes was a huge wakeup call. I virtually gave up carbs, lost weight and regained my figure. It is helpful having a husband who grows all our own food- eg 130 celeriac’s last year as a substitute for potatoes.
- Have lots of sex. If like me, you have a hot man, go for it. If not, then with others, and with yourself.
- Flirt! That is how I survived the aftermath of menopause. My book describes some of my early woeful flirting experiences, but I persevered. What I discovered was it had little to do with wrinkles and sagging skin, but all to do with inner confidence and self-belief. It was transformational and I had a blast. Jake loved flirting too and I got lots of tips from him. I love flirting with young men. And they love being flirted with. And if someone doesn’t respond, get on to the next one. (something I learned from Jake who never bothered with rejecting women). There are so many men out there. I even flirt with the postman.
- Do sexy dances. I made a startling discovery at age 64. Inside me was a Russian Bar Girl waiting to come out. This was not easy to accept. Russian bar girls are young and beautiful and traditionally pick up men in bars. Here I was supposedly on the way to becoming a wise old crone, and instead I had to come to terms with this voluptuous, seductive inner woman, chomping at the bit. One good way to deal with her, was that I started to do sexy dances for my husband. I said to him, ‘aren’t I too old for this?’ ‘No,’ he answered, ‘I have been waiting patiently for years.’ So at least once a week I put on a sexy outfit, some music, and dance; such fun and so liberating. Below are some of the many IG photos, entitled ‘date night in’.
- Work out. I have only recently decided to do weights. It is vital for being able to change sexual positions, as well as everything else to do with fitness. So, if I want to continue being sexy into my old age, I have to have a bit of muscle. I don’t live near a gym so I have had to buy weights, a barbell, and stretch bands. I have also found a sexy, online trainer. He has sent me a tough programme but I am sticking to it. And if I flag, I just look at him, working out online. So sexy and inspiring.